My grandmother called me today. It literally broke my heart to hear her. She said that she wishes I would come home. I talked to Astra about it, and she told me that it seemed like the thing to do.
So, I packed up my bags, kissed my motel room goodbye, and checked out of Sunnydale. Time to get my life back in order. You know, go to school. Get a decent job. Get a wife. Kids. The whole enchilada.
Gonna miss this place.
| Date: | 2005-08-30 12:53 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  happy | | Music: | Foo Fighters - Best of You |
Life is good.
I honestly mean that. I really like my job. Haven't really talked too much to Astra, but she seems nice. Don't really have too many friends, though. Need to talk to Taffy. I haven't really had the time lately, but I need to talk to her as soon as possible.
My main problem is that I don't have a place to live. Luckily, I have been making a little money and been able to rent a motel room, but it's kinda nasty there...
Also, considering going to college. Picked up some paperwork on it.
Anyway, have to work tonight. Maybe I'll ask Astra if she knows about any apartments for rent...
| Date: | 2005-08-06 15:31 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  drained | | Music: | Semisonic - Closing Time |
So, I left the coffee shop the other day. Went directly home and packed up. I realized that I really missed Sebastian. I missed my grandmother, who probably wonders why I don't return her calls. I miss my job, or my lack of job since I was kidnapped and didn't show up for my shift. I miss my life.
I'm leaving tonight. Going to the bus station. Going back home. Going to start over.
"Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try." ~ Unknown
| Date: | 2005-08-02 13:17 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  indescribable | | Music: | The Killers - Smile Like You Mean It |
So...
Lots to report on... kinda. The night I went in the bar all crazy-like, I met a girl. Her name was Taffy and she helped me get normal again. Now the dreams and homicidal tendencies have almost vanished. Only a glimmer of them remain... really more of a nusance than anything else.
I was living on Taffy's couch for a little while. Things were getting better. I was spending every second of my time preparing for my life to begin. I was obsessed with finding a job, which didn't happen. So, I left Taffy's. Didn't really even say goodbye. Just left a note that said "Thanks. C".
The reason why I left is because I realized that I was getting no where. That I could stay on her couch from now till a year from now and still possibly not have a job. I would still be the same exact person. I want to go to school. I want a real job where I make real money and have a real apartment with a real girlfriend. I want the dream.
I'm sitting in this coffee shop, using a computer. The other window I have open is a search of Sebastian, Florida. I remember when I was taken from there. I remember how easily I was pushed into crazy town. Maybe it'll be different next time.
I stare at the other window and close this one out.
| Date: | 2005-04-11 04:07 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  depressed |
Walkin' around... not sure where I am.
Need something... not sure what.
Go into some place. Maybe it's a bar. Maybe someone will kill me and put me outta my misery.
| Date: | 2005-03-02 10:57 |
| Subject: | Aftermath |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  contemplative | | Music: | The Killers - Mr. Brightside |
I don't know where do begin. I guess I need to face what happened. I realized that I couldn't hurt Faith...that I actually had fallen in love with her spirit while watching her past dreams and watching her in LA. Sly, my mentor, is dead also. Still kinda hurts admitting it...
That wolf. That...Oz. He did it. Can't really blame him. But am gonna keep an eye on him and Faith. Don't want them getting too close.
I still feel the thing inside me pushing me to kill the slayers. Sometimes it's bad, and sometimes it's...less bad. Sometimes I can control it...push it down. Sometimes it towers over me, and I have to take sleeping pills. Once last week it was bad, and I took the sleeping pills. I awoke two blocks away from my motel on the side of the road. My hands were all messed up. Must admit at times I feel a little schizophrenic.
Maybe I should see if she could help me...
| Date: | 2005-02-09 16:29 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
Going to find her tonight. Going to have the inevitable happen. She's got to go. Will start out by the house on Rovello. 8pm...tonight. This is gonna be good.
| Date: | 2005-02-02 22:59 |
| Subject: | them |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  listless |
The other night, I watched them. Started by watching her.
I was pretty far away, but I still watched them. Didn't want to get to close...got a weird vibe from that guy.
Think I saw them holdin' hands...but not sure. Hmmmm....interesting....
Followed them. Followed them all of the way to Sunnydale. Stood outside of the window of the house. Saw all of them.
| Date: | 2005-01-19 20:39 |
| Subject: | Don't Worry |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  crazy |
Was a long drive but I got here
I found her
I watch her
I want to kill her...will kill her
Brown hair blowing in the wind of night
Never a smile on her face
Always a care in her head
Don't worry pretty slayer...
Your days will end soon.
Know what I have to do. Sligh showed me the way. Showed me the picture of one of the Bitches. They will both perish. I will be sure of that. Been here in this place. At first I was confused. Thought my brother was a foe. But HE let me out. HE trained me. HE thinks I'm ready. I am. Itching to get to Sunnydale. Dying to slit their throats. Dying to kill them both. The time has come!
| Date: | 2004-06-29 14:03 |
| Subject: | Captive |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  pissed off |
I've been out for what seems like months, locked away in some type of warehouse. I think it may be by the water...like a dock for boats or something.
He comes in here sometimes. Talks to me about killing them. Killing the slayers. Hell...I don't even know who they are exactly. However, it does intrigue me as to how he knows so much about my dreams. Maybe he can read my mind. I just know one thing. There is no way I'm killing anything.
I wonder how much longer I will be kept locked away. Maybe someone will come look for me. Or better yet, crazy psycho needs to let me ouT.
| Date: | 2004-05-31 01:35 |
| Subject: | Waiting |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | blah | | Music: | 311 - Love Song |
OWWW...My feet hurt. Damn sick of standing behind a bar all day waiting on drunk people. Decided to get online while I'm waiting on my manager to check me out so I can get ready to go out with the friends. Damn...I need a shot.
The dreams are getting worse. Looked on the internet earlier, but the only thing I found was a message board for people that dream about their past lives. I don't think that these dreams are dreams of my past life. In a past life I was a girl who fought evil? Yeah...right.
Also, looked the town Sunnydale. Turns out that it's a real town. I've kinda been having the urge to check out that place. Don't really know why. Maybe just to figure out what these dreams mean. I don't know. I just kinda feel like I have to go there.
Anyway, I think my manager is just about finished checking me out so that I can leave now. Gotta call my friends.
Later.
| Date: | 2004-05-27 14:17 |
| Subject: | Bored |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | bored | | Music: | Linkin Park - My December |
I went out late last night and drank a little too much. I woke up at noon, but didn't get out of bed until after 1. I am so bored. I feel like all I do is work and party and then the next day start all over again. I need to register for college...but I'll put it off until tomorrow.
I had another dream last night. A blonde girl was battling vampire...or atleast I think it was a vampire. It had a wrinkled forehead and pointy teeth. At one point, his face shifted, and he looked normal. Then the blonde girl shoved a wooden tree branch into his heart and the guy exploded into dust. Creepy huh? It's also kinda weird that I can remember it with great detail.
Anyway, I go into work at 5:30. I hope it's busy so the time will pass quickly. Wonder if Jen and Melissa will want to go out? Wonder what time they get off? Anyway...later.
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